I have been a legal medical cannabis patient for almost ten years now. What does that mean?
Do I respect the fact that cannabis is a real, true medicine just like any antipsychotic pharmaceutical medication?
Do I respect the fact that cannabis has for me, replaced 19 different pills and one patch?
Do I respect the fact that those medications it replaced were REQUIRED by my body for different conditions both physical and mental?
Unfortunately, over the past year I have come to realize the answer to these questions has been an alarming, “NO!”
In spite of the fact that I have evolved into a teacher, and a caregiver for others in relation to cannabis; in spite of the fact that I am trained as a medical caregiver outside of the cannabis paradigm; the answer is a horrific “NO!”
Why do I say this? What would make me come to this most appalling realization? The simple fact that my medication needs have come LAST in budget and lifestyle for the past 2 years.
When a profound psychological break impacted all parts of my life last week, I was left with my life in shatters wondering what happened.
It soon became clear: Although I had been transferred by three physicians from pharmaceuticals to cannabis to treat both physical and mental conditions, I had not respected cannabis as a medication enough to make certain that I had the supplies that I needed to keep myself healthy.
This wasn’t sudden. I knew that I couldn’t financially afford the amount or types of cannabis that treat my conditions well. Over the past ten years I have learned a lot about my personal needs. I know the strains that work the best for all of my ailments and I know how to grow them.
Unfortunately, in the past year I put myself into a physical situation where I didn’t have the facility to grow my own, and I didn’t have the connections to those who were growing the strains I required to keep myself healthy.
My health came last. That is a profound statement. I have been through years of learning. Somehow I missed the fact that I need to put my health FIRST. I can’t be a partner to my husband or fulfill any other role when I am not physically and psychologically healthy.
When did I realize that I didn’t respect cannabis as a medicine for myself? When I realized that I would NEVER put one of these beautiful children that are seizure-free due to this medicine, in the circumstances I put myself into these past few months. I wouldn’t do that to a vulnerable person at all…why was I continuing to do it to myself? Don’t I count as much as those babies? Yes, I do.
So, now begins a time to take care of me. To learn to respect my medicine as such. Yes, it is a “botanical medicine” that is best consumed as a “whole plant.” But it replaces 20 different pharmaceutical medications. Medications for profound illnesses, both physical and psychological. It is REQUIRED not RECREATIONAL.
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